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How do you make the singer shut up?
Put sheet music in front of him.
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What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?
The banjo burns longer.
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How many bluegrass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE- they won't touch anything electric.
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How do you know it's a singer at the door?
He can't find the key, and he doesn't know when to come in.
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What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
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What is the range of a Squire Tele?
Depends on how far you can throw it.
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How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
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What do you say to a rapper in a 3-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise"
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What do you call a rapper who dies in a drive-by shooting?
A hit everyone can enjoy.
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What is "Perfect Pitch?
When you lob a banjo into the toliet without hitting the rim.
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What does Neil Young and a vacum have in common?
They both suck when you plug them in.
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What do you call a successful musician?
A guy who's girlfriend has 2 jobs.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
Drool.
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why is a Banjo like a scud missle?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
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What does a drummer use for birth control?
His personality.
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How do you make a telecaster sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a Jackson.
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What's the difference between a drummer and a bag of garbage?
the garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
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If you drop a bassplayer and a watermelon off the Empire State Building, who hits first?
Who cares?
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