Time For Some Seriousness Around Here.....

[Strat God]

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How do you make the singer shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him.

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What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?

The banjo burns longer.
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How many bluegrass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE- they won't touch anything electric.
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How do you know it's a singer at the door?
He can't find the key, and he doesn't know when to come in.
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What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
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What is the range of a Squire Tele?
Depends on how far you can throw it.
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How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
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What do you say to a rapper in a 3-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise"
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What do you call a rapper who dies in a drive-by shooting?
A hit everyone can enjoy.
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What is "Perfect Pitch?
When you lob a banjo into the toliet without hitting the rim.
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What does Neil Young and a vacum have in common?
They both suck when you plug them in.
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What do you call a successful musician?
A guy who's girlfriend has 2 jobs.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
Drool.
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why is a Banjo like a scud missle?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
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What does a drummer use for birth control?
His personality.
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How do you make a telecaster sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a Jackson.
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What's the difference between a drummer and a bag of garbage?
the garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
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If you drop a bassplayer and a watermelon off the Empire State Building, who hits first?

Who cares?
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[Child Of Norther]

How do you know it's a singer at the door?
He can't find the key, and he doesn't know when to come in.



LOL!

[Strat God]

Guitars don't get pregnant.
You can play your Guitar any time of the month.
Guitars don't have parents.
Guitars don't whine... unless you want them to.
You can share your Guitar with your friends.
Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you've played
Guitars don't care how many other Guitars you have.
Guitars don't care if you look at other Guitars.
Guitars don't care if you buy Guitar magazines.
You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to proud father of a new Guitar" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
If your Guitar is flat you can fix it.
Your Guitar doesn't care if you never listen to it.
Your Guitar won't care if you leave up the toilet seat.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Guitar.
If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don't have to apologize before you play it again.
You can play your Guitar as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can stop playing your Guitar as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
Your parents won't remain in touch with your old Guitar after you dump it.
Guitars don't get headaches.

[St.James]

Aw hell naw! :ROTF: Too funny!!

[1trussell]

How do you get two drummers to play in time?
Shoot one.

How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

[PittJitsu]

Hi all, Im new here, but you guys seem quite fun already. ha.

[FusionFarmer]

a guy goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pains, after a thourogh exam the doctor can't find anything wrong, so the Dr. asks him if maybe his job could be causing some kind of problem, "Well I'm a guitarist" the Dr, hands him 10 bucks and says, that explains it, Man go get yourself something to eat.

[Bandersnatch]

This is hilarious!

[Strat God]

2. Q. What's the difference between a musician and a bond? A. Eventually a bond matures and earns money.

3. Q. What's the difference between a drummer and a bass player? A. About half a beat.

[Strat God]

Q: What did Michael Jackson say to Lorena Bobbit?
A: "SILLY Bobbit! Dicks are for KIDS!"
:ROTF: :ROTF: :ROTF:

[Strat God]

Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
A: They both leave little boys' rooms with empty sacks.

Q: How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Michael Jackson only screws little boys!

So Michael Jackson held his kid out above a crowd from the fire escape....
"What was he trying to do?!" "One-up Eric Clapton."

[St.James]

Funny stuff, but I don't get this one...

So Michael Jackson held his kid out above a crowd from the fire escape....
"What was he trying to do?!" "One-up Eric Clapton."

Maybe I'm too drunk to get it, but HUH!?

[Strat God]

Funny stuff, but I don't get this one...

So Michael Jackson held his kid out above a crowd from the fire escape....
"What was he trying to do?!" "One-up Eric Clapton."

Maybe I'm too drunk to get it, but HUH!?

Clapton's infant fell out of a high-rise window in NYC and died a few years ago. Because if it, he wrote "Tears in Heaven".

[Shawn Lutz]

What do you call a Drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless

[Shawn Lutz]

Clapton's infant fell out of a high-rise window in NYC and died a few years ago. Because if it, he wrote "Tears in Heaven".

Not an infant....a maintenance worker was working on the windows in the NYC highrise. The windows are the type from ceiling to floor...Eric's son was playing hide and seek or something like that and ran in there and fell to his death. Any joking around about this topic is in pretty poor taste in my opinion.