Morally right, but legally screwed.

[horns666]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

it doesn't matter if his mom is the Holy Mary or a nut case..

people are going to do what they want to do...there is NO stopping that..

[horns666]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Keep me posted man...let me know what's up..

we'll cross the bridges as they come..

if he comes back and things get shitty fast...get a safe haven established...like at your friends...may as well let him know what's up now...always be prepared..

seems that you are..

[MBreinin]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Having no money is not as big a deal as you think. Call your state bar association and ask about PRO BONO representation. They can probably steer you towards an attorney that would handle you emancipation free of charge. You can file everything In Forma Pauperis, and have the vast majority of court fees waived, if not all. If the state bar cannot help, most law schools run free law clinics, which is another avenue to pursue.

Other than that, I agree with Bill. Call the kids hotline. Call child protective services and tell them your mother is placing you in harm's way through her sanctioning this piece of shit's return. Document it all. Call the police, get a record out there that this man is attacking you. Then, defend yourself if need be.

Swing for the bleachers.

Mike

[horns666]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Wow Mike ...that is great sir..

I didn't know about contacting the State Bar Association..and going thru those kind of channels...that is some great information....Hell yeah man...give that a shot!!!!!

yes, please contact your local kids protective services hotline...our cleveland one is 696-KIDS...so it may be a number like that..

good luck man..keep focused...do what you have to do...do the right thing...cover your ass like I said with the reports...and keep us posted.

and GET THE NAMES of ANY and ALL contacts in connection with this matter!!!!

get a repoir going with someone if you can...talk nicely and politely...that will get you farther..

Remember GET NAMES that is very important with me!!!!

take care man..

[lerxstcat]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Depending on his age, calling CPS could end up with him in foster care, much worse than staying at a friend's house.What's legal isn't always moral, as your thread title says. Find out what to do that won't make your sitch worse, and even if you're angry don't do anything to worsen your position.Living in Idaho I'd say you must be in a small town, more or less. My point is that eerybody probably knows everybody in your town, and when you make enemies such as the ex's new bf, you probably become an enemy to all his friends too. Now don't take any crap and report any threats or violence the guy does, but on the other hand if you can disengage from problems with him, all the better. The chick is gone; if she went with a rival just to mindscrew you, then good riddance and let him have the chick. Better to let it go sometimes than to be found in a shallow grave up in the hills, right? I'm just saying, know when it's worth it to stir up a fight. Don't take any crap, but don't stir it up either. You will have dozens of other girlfriends before you're done; write her off as preowned. Don't keep stirring the pot with your rival.

[horns666]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Hey Rich...what's up bro..

very sensible and good advice Rich...yeah dude...stay the HELL away from your ex ...she is BAD NEWS...especially at this time...you already have your hands full..

walk away from that situation completely...don't call her , don't talk to her , she is pure poison , avoid her like the plague that she is...forget that deal..I mean it!

[lerxstcat]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Hi Bill, just hangin' out... you gave him the best advice I think.

If you show this to your mom, Metallicarocks, I think you should PM someone here that you trust and list the real names of the people involved. That way if you "disappear" someone
will know who you, and they, are. ot to sound paranoid, but most people are more apt to do the right thing if they know they're being watched, ya know?

Just remember, circumstantially, if you have a gripe going on with your mom's bf and your ex's bf at the same time, it can end up looking like you're the troublemaker. That's why you have to go out of your way to avoid even looking like you are instigating anything. Be ready to protect yourself but don't be goaded into starting anything or you could be the one looking guilty. Be careful.

[horns666]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Rich...you and I think alike alot of times..

take no chances man...a paper trail is good!

great advice Rich on "appearing" like a trouble maker..

try and establish some credibility with people in c/w with this matter...best way is to be articulate , sincere and courteous..never rude or cocky..that makes things worse...as soon as you are cocky or show discontent with an official or whatever...you'll get squat everytime...I'm not kiddin'.

[metallicarocks]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Wow, thanks for the overwhelimingly helpful replies, I wish I could have asked a couple months ago when shit hit the fan. Lot's of feedback here, thanks so much guys!

[ QUOTE ]
first the problen isn't with your step dickhead dad...it with your mom's poor judgement call...unfortunately there isn't much you can do about that ...even though she may love you...she's going to do what she wants to do...and if she wants that fag back in the house...that is where he'll be..wether you like it or not.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's the big one where I'm fucked at. Even the cops told me that (I did have a report taken, and I do have documentation of him being a fucknut).

[ QUOTE ]
Out of curiosity, what reasons did you mom give for wanting the abusive bastard back? How much history was there between them? Of course it doesn't make logical sense to us that she'd want someone back who beats her son. There's something else happening on her end that's clouding her better judgement.

[/ QUOTE ]

Indeed, it's called hope. She keeps hoping that he'll straighten up. I wouldn't go as far to say she's a bad mom. She raises six of us (seven including fucktard). We live in a nice house, there's plenty of food, bills magically get paid without any repos or pawns. She's also going back to school. In that sense, she's the best mom I know of, NOBODY I've ever seen or heard of has done that much. I will say that she most certainly fucked up this call though.

[ QUOTE ]

Depending on his age, calling CPS could end up with him in foster care, much worse than staying at a friend's house.What's legal isn't always moral, as your thread title says. Find out what to do that won't make your sitch worse, and even if you're angry don't do anything to worsen your position.Living in Idaho I'd say you must be in a small town, more or less. My point is that eerybody probably knows everybody in your town, and when you make enemies such as the ex's new bf, you probably become an enemy to all his friends too.


[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, the CPS doesn't sound like an option to me, I've been afraid that they would stick me in a foster home, and probably all of my bros and sister to. I don't want to break up the family. My stepdad is only a fucker to me for the most part, probably because I'm the oldest. I take charge in the house when Mom's gone, that's my job. This guy comes in, not married to my mom, and starts barking orders at me and my brothers. I tell him that I'm not going to do it, and I won't be threatened by him and shit just flies. He comes in every once in a while, sleeps on the couch and finds one of his other girl friends to stay with.

As for small town business, you've nailed it right on the head. Luckily, he doesn't have any friends [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] . Nobody likes him. I know she only did it to spite me, she used to bitch about him all the time. I think it's only because he's making some dough in the Navy. I've got the friends here. If it ever came down to a fight between me and somebody else and all friends were involved, even Mexican clans would have to fuck off.

[ QUOTE ]

walk away from that situation completely...don't call her , don't talk to her , she is pure poison , avoid her like the plague that she is...forget that deal..I mean it!

[/ QUOTE ]
Believe me, I have. The problem is that my friends are still friends with her. She pulls off this act like nothing ever happened between us. I've only played along to keep peace between my friends. She's not a problem, her fucking boyfriend is.

[ QUOTE ]
Just remember, circumstantially, if you have a gripe going on with your mom's bf and your ex's bf at the same time, it can end up looking like you're the troublemaker.

[/ QUOTE ]
I know this looks terrible, I just have seriously bad luck. So far, I have left as much of a paper trail as possible. Last time ex's bf called, I called the cops. I should have made a report, I don't know why I didn't think of it. I think that there is still a way of proving it, or at least having some evidence. Being in a small town, all the cops know you by first name, just like you do them. It would be know problem at all finding the cop that I talked to, she's the only female on the force here. I know it would just be heresay, but it's better than nothing. Also, I have had two reports filed against my exstepdad, he does have violent history on record in this sense, both reports making him look fishy I would think/hope.

I'm not sure that I want to call a hotline or anything. I don't have much longer before I'm 18. I think last time me and my stepdad fought, I let him know I meant business. I socked him in the face, charged at him a few times and fucking wrestled with him. He busted the door down trying to get me out of the room. Now the fucked up part is that I was told that he could press charges against me for that, even though he swung first. Chances are that he wouldn't, because assault on a minor is by far worse than what I would get. I have a clean record now, I don't have as much as a traffic ticket, and I don't want to fuck that up.

Thanks so much for all of the replies, it's been real uplifting. I feel like I'll get through this now. Even for a message board, I know I've got a lot of helpful support. We all know eachother pretty well here, most of us have been around for a few years at least. I'm glad that I've got the support that I do. Thanks so much!

[AK47]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Just so you know I am betting that their is Methamphetamines involved in this situation or the adults are just really bad alcoholics. By the way dont worry about catching any beef before you turn 18 you can always get your record sealed unless you go down for murder, but thats bad advice. Get a webcam and put it in your room, you have a good feeling when the shits about to go down just like I did when I was in a similar situation, you will have time to turn on the webcam, stay in your room and if anyone forces entry and takes a swing at you thats a felony right there, in theory you could take a baseball bat to him and get away with it but you dont need to do that. Web cams are like 20 bucks and if you cant afford one maybe I can find one or someone can donate one to you, just dont tell anyone at all in your house about it. My 2 cents hope it works out, remember when you are 18 you can own a gun but you can go to prison too.

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

I don't know, it sounds like a sad situation for you and the rest of your family. Perhaps you can talk to the loser and put it all out on the table. Tell him that you will not put up with his shit. I'd warn him not to fuck with you or any of your younger brothers. I'd also try to talk some sense into your mom and tell her its great to have hope but this guy will never change, he's a bum.

I would not resort to violence of any kind unless it is self-defense, then I'd personally beat the shit out of him like he never hab it before, he'd want to leave and never return. You are young and its sticky situation but you don't want to end up in jail.

[VulfgangPfuck]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

You're not going to be put in jail for self defense...always remember that. You will most-likely need a witness though if he starts shit with you again. Then I say go ballistic on him.

[pro-fusion]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Yeah, you have a right to self-defense etc. etc. To me, the key is to avoid having shit go down in the first place. I say get the hell out of there if it's at all possible (stay with friends if you can and such), and definitely do so when you turn 18. It sounds to me like something really bad could happen soon that could tear apart your family, even if you end up on right on the legal side of things.

As far as ex-fiancee's boyfriend: one additional piece of advice. Don't get engaged again or married until you are much older. 18 year-olds shouldn't be married--you've got too much living to do at that age!

Good luck dealing with all this.

[RacerX]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

Dude, you can come live with me. Uh, you have to wear this wig though. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Cleveland Metal]

Re: Morally right, but legally screwed.

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]