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Fridays in Hell

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  • Fridays in Hell

    FRIDAYS





    One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

    Satan: 'Why so glum?'

    Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'

    Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?'

    Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.'

    Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway.'

    Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!'

    Satan: 'You a smoker?'

    Guy: 'You better believe it'

    Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays We get the e finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. ;If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?'




    Guy: 'Wow...that's awesome!'

    Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.'

    Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do.'

    Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.'

    Guy: 'Cool!'

    Satan: 'What about drugs?'

    Guy: 'Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?'

    Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares.'

    Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!'

    Satan: 'You gay?'

    Guy: 'No...'

    Satan: 'Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough...'



    I want to depart this world the same way I arrived; screaming and covered in someone else's blood

    The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

    My Blog: http://newcenstein.com

  • #2
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!! This is soooo perfect!!!
    As far as I'm concerned he can stay with Dean and play his dots+fins KV copies, and whatever that aborted fetus he "designed". More like "I saw it in my puke". -Newc

    Tung Oil is for guitar necks. Tongue Oil is a by-product of cunninglus. -Metalchurch79

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    • #3
      Ouch!
      You sir, can go you fuck yourself and don't let the door hit you in the vagina on the way out.
      You're such a pretencious, phony, boring, transparent, self righteous worthless fuck..You are amusing as a genital wart!
      --horns666 - 12/08/08

      Hey, if those are fake tits..is fake titty fuggin' cheatin'? I say no!
      --horns666 - 12/29/08
      I think your dad jacked off in a flower pot and you were born a blooming idiot.
      --LouSiffer - 06/25/09

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      • #4
        hahaha

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        • #5
          Oh jeez I remember this joke. My friend told me it last year and it cracked me up every time. Thanks for reminding me.
          "Dear Dr. Bill,
          I work with a woman who is about 5 feet tall and weighs close to 450 pounds and has more facial hair than ZZ Top." - Jack The Riffer

          "OK, we can both have Ben..joint custody. I'll have him on the weekends. We could go out in my Cobra and give people the finger..weather permitting of course.." -Bill Z. Bub

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