The History of Metal

[necrotechno]

So, okay, which one of our metal heroes here do you most associate yourself with?

I think I'd fall somewhere between Thrash and Prog — unkempt clothing, fights the dragon (doesn't say he killed it), bores the princess.

[Axewielder]

EDIT: Where's neoclassical metal?

[Cygnus X1]

Somewhere between Heavy Metal, and Power Metal.
I'm vintage.

[CharvelRocker]

You also left out British heavy metal:
The warrior also arrive on a Harley. He sings about wearing leather and kills the dragon by performing a two part harmony with his swords. The princess offers him a "reward", but he turns it down because he is gay

[Axewielder]

EDIT: Where's neoclassical metal?

OK I'll answer my own question.

NEOCLASSICAL METAL:
The warrior arrives on horseback, armed with a sword and ready for battle. The dragon is heavily armored, but the warrior is the master of "ripping through scales". He makes tender love to the princess while humming Wagner's "The Ride of the Valkyries".

[Super_shredder]

You also left out British heavy metal:
The warrior also arrive on a Harley. He sings about wearing leather and kills the dragon by performing a two part harmony with his swords. The princess offers him a "reward", but he turns it down because he is gay

OMG:ROTF::ROTF::ROTF:

[VitaminG]

You also left out British heavy metal:
The warrior also arrive on a Harley. He sings about wearing leather and kills the dragon by performing a two part harmony with his swords. The princess offers him a "reward", but he turns it down because he is gay

if it's British Heavy Metal, wouldn't he arrive on a Triumph or BSA, wearing a denim jacket with a Saxon backpatch?

[Rsmacker]

Yeah, late, covered in oil because he'll have had to re-build the fucking thing twice on the way.

[SpiralArchitect]

and if we are talking british metal, you have to mention something about poor teeth, taking the piss, and the word dodgy, Also if it were a triumph or BSA the electrical system would have failed at least once on the way too!

C

[SpiralArchitect]

Isn't there a canadian metal part, something Fubar, or

The warrior arrives in a Tim Hortons truck with a sword made of poutine, he apologizes for pretty much everything, then says please alot, the princess loses interest because he's wearing plaid flannel, and lives in an igloo, Eh.

C

[Freyr]

Canadian Metal is made of win. Slight correction though

The warrior arrives in a Tim Hortons truck... = The warrior skates up to a Timmies drivethou before arriving...

[Rsmacker]

Also if it were a triumph or BSA the electrical system would have failed at least once on the way too!

Nah, unless they had Lucas components in them. That's "Lucas - Prince of Darkness" as they are known in the Jaguar factory!

Italian bikes are a bastard for shit electrics. Their love of spaghetti extends to making their wiring looms out of it.

Sooo, while we are at it:
Italian Metal

Hero arrives on Benelli with serious electrical problems. He hears it backfire, and surrenders immediately. Spends next few months pinching Princess' arse and hogging the mirror.
Sings some Europop pap but because he has leather trousers on, it is immediately classed as Metal by Wop press. Mimes a bad guitar solo, with his shirt open to navel and a big fucking medallion.
Dragon stomps him into pulp. Everyone cheers.
The end.