Tweet
Originally posted by Norton
View Post
I went on lots of ferries round the Greek Islands last Summer. Biggest pains in the arse?
Aussie women - pissed, aggressive, red-faced, pig-ugly, and sooooo fucking loud. When I'm on an overnight ferry, sleeping on deck because I'm too tight to pay for a cabin, I don't want to hear some Doris banging on about how she "accidentally" smuggled a spliff through Bankok Airport, and how she only likes genuine Cambodian grass shoots served on traditional wing-ying-bing-bong, not pretend Cambodian food like you get in restaurants in the West, all at the top of her voice.
Now I like rough old boilers (thankfully, because it is my staple diet in the minge dept), and you can't get much rougher than an Aussie student who looks like she doesn't yet know that she should wipe front-to-back, and who probably grew up with 5 brothers having fart-lighting contests, but she was doing my fucking loaf in.
In the end, I stumbled over, in my shreddies, and told her I was going to throw her over the side if she didn't STFU. That did the trick, she fucked off to the other end of the boat, along with her friend Madge Allsop, and her uber-gay chum (he might not have been gay, he just looked it next to a bruiser like her). Rock hard, me.
Which was probably what scared her, my Morning Glory protruding like a, erm, protruding thing that-isn't-exactly-huge-but-you-wouldn't-want-it-up-your-arse.
And guess who got into trouble for it? Dobermann Dundee? Nope, it was me. AGAIN.
They were on every fucking ferry though, do you export them from Down Under? Have you expanded from just sending barmaids to Earls Court?
Elle McPherson is OK, I suppose.
Right, where was I? Oh yes, I remember, listening to "Night Boat to Cairo" and watching the "Seasons In The Abyss" video, to get the low-down on ferries in , erm, well, "over there" (waves hand dismissively at map).
Comment