Deep Personal Music Questions.......

[Strat God]

How do you make the singer shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him.

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What's the difference between a banjo and a ukulele?

The banjo burns longer.
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How many bluegrass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE- they won't touch anything electric.
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How do you know it's a singer at the door?
He can't find the key, and he doesn't know when to come in.
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What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
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What is the range of a Squire Tele?
Depends on how far you can throw it.
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How do you get a drummer off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
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What do you say to a rapper in a 3-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise"
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What do you call a rapper who dies in a drive-by shooting?
A hit everyone can enjoy.
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What is "Perfect Pitch?
When you lob a banjo into the toliet without hitting the rim.
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What does Neil Young and a vacum have in common?
They both suck when you plug them in.
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What do you call a successful musician?
A guy who's girlfriend has 2 jobs.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
Drool.
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why is a Banjo like a scud missle?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
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What does a drummer use for birth control?
His personality.
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How do you make a telecaster sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a Jackson.
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What's the difference between a drummer and a bag of garbage?
the garbage gets taken out at least once a week.
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If you drop a bassplayer and a watermelon off the Empire State Building, who hits first?

Who cares?

[442w30]

More bass player jokes please

[OnlineStageGear]

More bass player jokes please

Did you mean Bass or Lead Bass ?

What's the difference between a Bassist and a rhino that's just eaten a tin of baked beans?
One's a huge useless thing that makes a deep farting noise and the other is a rhino.

What do you call a bassist who breaks up with his girlfriend ?
Homeless ..

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, They let the keyboard player do it with his left hand

How do you confuse a bassist?
Put one of his strings out of tune, but don't tell him which one!

What are the three most difficult years in a bass player's life?
Second grade.

What do you call a guy who hangs around with a bunch of musicians?
A singer.

How can you tell when a drummer is at the door ?
His knocks speed up and slow down.