I hate birds!!!

[fett]

I'm not sure what species the little fuks are,
but they following me. They don't crow and they don't twitter. They have the loudest, repetitious song all day long. The crows we got rate a 7. This one bird is an 11. When I was at my house in Marin County, the little fuk would be right outside the door. BB Gun, nooo!!!! Sing, Yes!!!!! I even went to Yosemity (sp) and the little fuk was there. Thank God, this bastard is up the street but his "Song Remains the Same". If I had a shotgun.......

[finnman]

Mocking Bird? I got one outside our house. He is none stop tweeting 24/7.
I got 5 cats outside and no luck yet.
Go kittys Go

[fett]

I have heard mocking birds and they change their tune and it's cool. This shithead sings the same thing . It's 8:30 here and that prick is still at it.

[RacerX]

I hear ya! I hate pigeons and crows with a passion. Not cuz of the noise, but cuz of their "calling cards" all over my Buick and Cadillac. My hag of a neighbor is part of the problem, I believe she puts out seed...thanks, you ugly old witch!

I have a Crosman pellet rifle w/ a small scope, but I think I need to invest in better firepower cuz sometimes I'll hit a black-hearted fuc*er (crow not the neighbor) and they'll go AWK and then fly away!

[toejam]

Those are the birds that have the flu. They're stalking you, Fett. Watch out!!

[JohnnyMac]

I hear ya! I hate pigeons and crows with a passion. Not cuz of the noise, but cuz of their "calling cards" all over my Buick and Cadillac. My hag of a neighbor is part of the problem, I believe she puts out seed...thanks, you ugly old witch!

I have a Crosman pellet rifle w/ a small scope, but I think I need to invest in better firepower cuz sometimes I'll hit a black-hearted fuc*er (crow not the neighbor) and they'll go AWK and then fly away!

Years ago I had a similar problem but I had to deal with worrying about Crows.My Son would be playing out back and they (crows)would start to swarm around over Him.I of course didnt take this very lightly.I tried the crossman bounce the pellet of the bird game and didnt like it.After figuring I was probably gonna get arrested for taking them out with a .22 I invested about $300 in a excellent pellet rifle.Its built like a real gun,machined barrel,site groves,heavy built ect.I then was recommended the high end pellets with the nice sharp point on the end.I couldnt wait to get home and start knocking the piss out of My new found aggressive crow problem. I used Myself as the lure and sure enough in about 15mins I had them hanging around over Me like they owned the place.Crows seem to play follow the leader so that big mouth brazin fuck was the first to go.While crowing his war chant I shot him right in his neck and sent him flying backwards of the top of My roof into my front yard.Silent. The other crows went nuts swarming around screaming starting to swope down now.I mean a bunch of them.I was laughing so hard I couldnt aim so I walked inside and started picking them off out of the window.I was amazed at the power the rifle had and its SO accurate its almost an unfair advantage.I learned that crows are pretty smart and get pissed off when You shoot their leader right in his noise pipe into the front yard and get much more pissed after You knock off another half dozen of his Sargeants into next week! But I also noticed they didnt hang around My house after that...
Spending $300 on that rifle was a worthwhile investment.Its fun to shoot target practice with also.Buy the pointy pellets and also the flat ones to sting things You want to scare although the flat ones are deadly up close too.Dont buy cheap pellets though buy the best.The cheap ones are inaccuate and dont have the same power.

[quiksilver]

This thread is hilarious!

[MetalMedal II]

Spending $300 on that rifle was a worthwhile investment.Its fun to shoot target practice with also.

What make was the pellet rifle? My friend had a Beeman single shot with a 4x scope that amazingly accurate. He actually sold it to my other friend when he upgraded to another brand that I don't recall.

[JohnnyMac]

I have it at My other house but I remember its German made. Its a single shot that breacks in the middle.No pumping.I dont even use a scope on it as the fixed sites are that good

[zeegler]

I hate birds too. Nothing but giant bugs. Seriously, other than the kind you eat, I have no use for birds whatsoever. They just make noise, and shit on everything. Flying rats.

[zeegler]

Oh, that reminds me. At my parent's old house, the fucking starlings pecked their way through the screen on the dryer vent, and built their nest in the damn dryer vent pipe, which just happened to run from the laundry room, right through the ceiling above my bedroom. I could hear the fuckers in there all the time. Luckily the pipe was dead straight from the laundry room to the outside. I attached a water hose to the laundry tub faucet, and disconnected the dryer flex hose. I gave those fuckers a good blast for 5 minutes. the birds, nest, babies, everything came shooting out of the vent outside.

[JohnnyMac]

Even though this is the "official I hate birds thread I have another favorite pastime in dealing with really fucking annoying wild animals.
I have a friend Who once owned a paintball outside fighting place.Basicly a chunk of land He rented and on weekends + people paid to have paintball wars.Well He ordered like 10,000 paintballs from a new company and We started using them one weekend and found out quick the manufacturer wasnt kidding when they made these paintballs. The paint inside them was like pure semi gloss latex. They hurt like hell when they hit you because the paint was so thick and the paint would harden and NOT come off.It was funny for a few mins and then when You hair hardened and it would't come off with soap and water,I mean an hour shower and its still hard My Friend decided to not sell them anymore.He had about 9500 left though so what to do we thought.Well driving around with a loaded paintball gun labeling every asshole driveer with a bright red or caution tape yellow dot was fun for awhile but We figured it might end up with a weekend in jail we gave up that pastime.So the paintballs sat in his garage for years all the time the paint getting denser as it aged.I believe by now it had turned to full gloss.Well I had a problem going on with armadillos digging holes in My yard and opossums tipping over My trash cans and spilling shit everywhere.So I gave My friend scott a call and up He came with 500 paintballs and His best rifle. I had one of those semi auto rifles Myself.So we set a trap for the opossums.Just fill the same trash cans with scraps and its just a matter of time. I moved My cars and We sat watching tv until My motion light went on and there was the 1st opossum climbing the tree atempting to spill the can.We were locked and loaded.Scott had the red gloss latex super enamel and I had the caution tape yellow caliper heat tested gloss balls.We shot at the same time artfully creating the most attractive spotted opossum I've ever seen.Amazing hues of yellow and red mixed together by a couple true artists truely trying to find a useful purpose for hundreds of dollars of otherwise useless paintballs.After the first ran away with his newfound look I quickly rinsed the tree and lawn off as again once this stuff dried You need to sand it off.Anyway over the next few years on every occasion I had I would return the favor to My rodent friends by making them much more interesting to look at.My neighbor bought some paintballs from Scott and helped with the problem also. I found that painting My neighborhoods oppossums red and My armadillo friend yellow was the way to go.I'm down to only about 50 paintballs now but to this day there are still bright red opossums some of which have faded to a very pretty pink color running around.

[RacerX]

You lead an interesting life, JohnnyMac!

[wilkinsi]

You need a silencer in my area or you'll get showered in shit by every pidgeon within a 2 mile radius.

[JohnnyMac]

You lead an interesting life, JohnnyMac!

Thanks Man! I am an Arteast...