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I must share this with my JCF bros..

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  • I must share this with my JCF bros..

    Well, it's no secret that I'm a total fucking prick..but a lovable one ..If I like you.

    I been having ongoing problems with these rent-a-booger tenants next door. Nothing but constant calls to their landlord, police, the counselman, and a meeting with the Community relations board..bottom line is they are getting evicted because of ME...me baby ..me!!

    They ONLY reason why they do live next to me, in lovely "copland" is because it's a very small unit..a coverted attic..rent is only $420 a month including heat..so there ya go.

    They are constantly shattering my tranquilty with constant fighting outside..that's all they do...The poor lady upstairs is scared to death of this guy..but I told her I'm just 5 seconds away and gave her my number right in front of them, since then she grew a pair with my support and confronted them herself on a few occassions.

    Once I tried my very best to provoke a physical fight with them while they were going at it..but that didn't happen..I called them every nasty, vulgar word you can think of ..but they didn't give me the open or joy to beat the piss out of them...I can get away with doing that crap with people of this "ilk"..that's not a prob.

    The only bad thing is ..I get all worked up..I mean really worked up and violent and that stresses me and my family out big time..I'm just frustrated,disgusted and in pain...it puts me in a pretty dark place.

    So, lets fast forward to today!!!!!!

    They were going at it again..But this time I had an idea..I will put on a vulgar display of power..I did that without saying a single word..here's how!!

    While they were acting like fools..I cranked my stereo in my garage all the way up. It's LOUD and just a few yards from them. I put on Lamb of God's "Laid to Rest"...pulled one of my rubbermaid garbage cans into my backyard right where they were and proceeded to beat the fuck out of it with my ol', trusty, Police issued collapsable A.S.P Baton..while I was laughing my ass off to the sounds of Lamb Of God..they froze, then took of in their rusty Dodge K car..

    That's what I'm going to do evertime they pull their shit..

    I already warned my neighbors that I was going to make noise like music, a airhorn when these fags went at it ..they all laughed and condoned my actions..

    They are in the process of moving...not fast enough for me..hopefuly this will speed things up a bit.

    I don't recommened this to anyone ..because you may be in jeopardy of confrontation or the Police yourself..

    I can get away with this kinda crap..so why not do it..

    It seemed VERY effective and I still have my voice intact, and instead of being stressed and frustrated I feel GREAT!!

    you outta see their faces..

    My wife Valerie was in total fucking shock herself..she said..Bill, your fucking NUTS"..I just smiled at her and said ..that's exactly what I wanted to convey..

    Val stated "I think they got the point"

    Bill Z Bub
    Last edited by horns666; 04-22-2006, 05:12 PM.
    "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
    Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

    "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

  • #2
    hehehe... you kill me man... Your phone is ringing, answer it...

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    • #3
      I hate asshole neighbors. I'm lucky where I am now. People mind their own business, while being neighborly.

      Back when I was 21 or so I lived with my mother in snoody neighborhood. We had a German Shepard, who was I shit you not Rin Tin Tin's great great grandaughter...give or a take a "great", anyway, she loved to play and when someone was outside in their their yards she would go nuts and bark and carry on.

      Annoying yes, but there's a right way and a wrong way to do something and this asshole neighbor came over and damn near beat the door down. When my mother opened the door he started yelling at her, pointing his fingers in her face and generally scared the shit out of her.

      He wouldn't calm down and told her to shut up, he was doing the talking. He told her she WILL put up a privacy fence and she WILL silence that dog or he would silence her for us.

      She started to speak again and he told her to shut up again. This is where I entered the picture. The tables turned, he was no longer talking to a woman, but to someone he better not piss off.

      I simply asked him if he wanted to walk home or limp home and that was that. He turned and left after a brief stare down

      He had been throwing rocks, bricks, firewood, trash, anything he could grab to throw he would.

      Next day, the cops show up on my door step saying the guy was complaining that I threatened him. I told them, damn right I did and if the fuck steps foot on my property again I wouldn't be that nice again. Then proceeded to tell them what happened.

      I took them to the backyard and showed them that mornings trash pile he threw over the fence and rocks and bricks he was trying to harm my dog with. Then I asked, "If you were a dog and some asshole was throwing shit at you wouldn't you bark too?".

      There was also mention of him trying to shoot her with a pellet gun and if I caught him doing it again I would return fire.

      The cops left and stayed at the guys house for a pretty good while, but I never heard from him or the cops again.. And I didn't put a privacy fence either!
      Whataya Mean I Don't Support The System? I Go To Court When I Have To!

      Comment


      • #4
        How many threads will Bill post that story on?

        -1 to 3

        -4 to 5

        -Every thread he gets his paws on

        "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

        Comment


        • #5
          Hey Bill, I had a set of asshole neighbors around 2 years ago who would call the cops on us all the time. Twice they came because my son and me were shooting BB guns in our totally secluded and stockade fenced in yard. We were shooting paper targets. They knew it... the cops knew it too because it was the second time they came. They called the cops on us because our dogs were barking. Dude... I have 2 chihuahua's. They are indoor dogs. They also have really weak (but annoying) barks. You can't even hear them from outside. Anyway..... I got fed up.. as did you.. and in a fit of rage I took my 1991 Chevy Caprice (ex Philly detectives car) and I parked it in front of their house. I blasted Metal Church for around 10 minutes while I laid on the horn for the rest of the time. While this was going on I was screaming at the top of my lungs for anybody to come outside. I begged them. They stopped bothering us. The cops never came again. They put their house up for sale and moved 3 months later.
          The new neighbors are very nice. Sometimes it takes a little display of metal rage to get the point across. Sometimes people just don't know who they are fukkin with.

          Comment


          • #6
            The neighbors I had at my old house were just like that and I thinl they were dealing too so I would spend friday and saturday nights in my back yard and as soon as I heard some one pull up I'd whip out my 2 million candle power spot light on the person or car, it was funny as hell
            I've fallen, Fallen through. If I'm Not With you, All I wanna Do Is Feel blue

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            • #7
              Donnie
              "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

              Comment


              • #8
                What's funny is as soon as I started doing it everything stoped and they moved

                It got to the point near the end that the wife would come home from work at like 1am and I'd have the spotlight on her from the road to the door

                Also on saturday morning before I went riding at 7 am I'd always fire the kx500 in the driveway and warm it up

                Anytime I was working on cars slayer or bodom was cranked to 10
                I've fallen, Fallen through. If I'm Not With you, All I wanna Do Is Feel blue

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                • #9
                  Kudo's to ya.
                  Why hunt ... when there is no machine gun season?

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                  • #10
                    Thanks for the good laugh Bill, and I'm glad you're getting rid of your pesky neighbors!
                    The 2nd Amendment: America's Original Homeland Defense.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ah, yes drama..

                      People can be assholes but I'm a big dick..and I WILL fuck 'em..

                      Bad neighbors suck ass. I live in the nicest area of Cleveland..very high taxes..like I said it's "Copland" due to redency requirements for city workers..they only reason these lowly fags are here is because of the low rent..

                      Low rent draws flies like a steamy turd. That's when the greif and drama begins..

                      Don't get me wrong, Not all people that are broke or poor suck, I was broke once upon a time. There have been some really nice people here next door that rented that unit and a fag that I shove my gun up his nose once. My landlord doesn't have the gift that I have to spot a turd when you see one..he just sees the green.

                      I just had a nice talk with that landlord..I told him if he brings me drama..I will give him drama..that's fair..he agreed.

                      I banged heads with these fucks the day they moved in..I established myself right away..and they confirmed to me that they were ghetto turds...from day one.

                      I always come off "mean" at first until I get to know ya...I do that on purpose. I'm very stand off-ish..I don't look very approachable..and I like that..Then I'm not bothered by a bunch of assholes..that seems to cut it to a minimum.

                      To me EVERBODY is an asshole until you show me otherwise..that's my rule..it has worked for me in my line of work and my personal life...John acn testify to that and AMEN!

                      You have to understand..I was a inner city street cop for 13 years..I had the power to beat the crap out of anyone ..just because ..and "articulate" my way out of it..I did that..not just for myself but for alot of other cops that got their dicks stuck in the ringer..you know.. "the code"..articulation is the key..I got that down when neccessary..that is called CYA..Cover Your Ass!!

                      I guess haveing to make snap judgements in seconds kinda programmed my ass..but something learned is never lost.

                      The only thing I lost is the uniform..the "blues"..but I'm still the same person..

                      I think that fruststarates me most..that loss of power..I still have some "power"..but not like I used to when in uniform..

                      I was like a Danny DeVito in the 4th district most of the assholes I dealt with for 13 years were bigger, stronger, faster and younger...but I made them cry like a bitch all of them

                      you know how great that feels..prolly not..you don't miss what you never had.

                      Once you have that kind of power it's really fucking hard to let go..I'm trying to let go..but how..that is something I'm dealing with right now..my doctors call that "adjustment anxiety disorder"..see they got a name for my crap..they got a name for everything..

                      I just had that old RUSH again..it made me feel so happy ..I just had to share it with my freinds..I'm still all fuzzy from it..

                      Don't get me wrong I wasn't one of those dick cops that got their ass kicked in school and cam on the job with a Napolean complex (I know those dudes)..I took this job in good faith to help people..but sometimes what you choose isn't exactly what you expect..

                      I'm sure many here can relate to that!!
                      "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                      Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                      "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I have a close friend who is a police officer. I give him all the credit in the world for putting up with the “public shit” every day. Unfortunately, there are more of what I like to call the “Jerry Springer” class than any other class of people. And if we’re not being entertained by them like animals at the zoo on tv., they are irritating is to death in real life. I completely understand why you did what you did. I have wanted to rip a few hearts out with my pitch fork on several occasions. Fight the good fight Bill!
                        "You have a pud..your wife has a face. Next time she bitches..I'd play cock bongos on her cheeks..all four of them!" - Bill Z.
                        I just just had a sudden urge to sugga dick..! If I wore that guitar and didn't suck male genitalia..somethin' is very wrong! - Bill Z.

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                        • #13
                          LOVE it
                          your my hero for the month bill

                          after i had been in this dixie hell for about 2 yrs, i had some asshole neigbors once who moved a shitty trashed out trailer onto the little piece of property next to my 3 acr.,,but where my house sits the POS was only like 200 ft from my bedroom window. at night starting around 11:30 i started to hear these crying ass country style basslines creeping into my head like giant feet doing the 2 step right outside my window...boom boom boom for hours. this went on for like 4 days, on the 3rd day i went over there to ask for a little consideration, and all i got out of the fat trashy bitch who came to the door was " its a free country we'll listen to whatever we want whenever we want, your far enough away, deal with it." and me being the chicago boy that i am,,,it was fuckin on then...on the 3rd night here it comes again,,but this time i was prepared after it started, i wheeled my rig which consisted of 4 full stacks W/ 4 100 wat a side stereo pwr amps into the back yard, and proceeded to detune my guitar out of tune ,crank up and just give them the sonic equivolent of demonc cats fucking in the 4th demention for about 45 min. then wheeled it back in the back door, and for the next 3 nights i treated them to every orig. of mine, Slayer, Megadeth, Metallica,Exodus,Anthrax, and Kreator tune i knew...never heard another peep,,a month later the trailer and the toothless wonders were gone...

                          MOSH ON
                          DAVE
                          "It's because the speed of light is superior to the speed of sound that so many people look shiny before they actually sound stupid"

                          "All pleasure comes at someone Else's expense"

                          The internet is where, The men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Mike thanks man..yeah I have a place in my heart for cops man..I wish I could still be with them..and I know they wished the same..I really miss the guys man..some damn good people..they don't get enough credit, praise or pay.

                            Mosh, that's awsome...fight fire with more fire..that's the way to do it..that is called FORCE CONTINUEM...whenver in attack..you always take it up a notch..never on the same level..

                            I don't fight fist with fist..I fight fist with asp...pull a bat or knife ..I'll pull my gun...you pull a gun..OK, then we have probs..'cuz someones getting shot!
                            "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                            Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                            "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Bill, you're fucking hilarious, dude. You crack me up. I say good ridance to those pieces of shit. There's no place for some guy who wants to get rough with his wife. And I say you did the right thing. Kudos, old man.

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