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  • Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

    Alright I am going to try to state just the facts here and not my opinion. In early December 2002. My best friend (Mike) asked me and my wife to buy him a big screen t.v. valued at $1550, and he would make repay in a year. I told my wife that it was her call, I wanted no part of it, since I don't like to mix money/friends/family. She decided to do it, under the condition that he pay off $1550 of a $2600 pawn shop loan she had on a ring that she pawned from her 1st marriage before we got together. He agreed meaning that after a year she would owe $1050 on the loan. The money was to have been paid back by January of 04. Well things started off o.k. for the 1st few months he would make a payment then fax my wife the receipt of payment. I forgot to mention that he lives in Texas(where the pawn is) and we live in L.A.. the loan was transferred to his name to make payments easier for him, and to allow him to pay more than the minimum interest only payments(Pawnshop rules, no ticket in your name nore more than minimum payment). Then it started to become a hassle, everymonth it bacame "did you go pay?" followed by the "yeah yeah I'll do it". Of course no more faxes of receipts. Anyways flash forward to this week. My wife ask for the loan #, he gets pissy about it and she gets off the phone with him, and wont take his calls for a few days. He calls me yesterday and ask "whats up with Melissa" I tell him she is mad over the pawn situation. he then tells me that why is she mad he has paid the $1500 back and that for the last year he has been doing her a favor and making the interest payment, which is like $35 every 3 months. So she has no reason to be mad. I ask her whats going on. She says that she called the pawn and asked for a balance, they told her that she owes $2400. I then call up Mike and say hey what happened your deal was that you were to pay off $1550 of the principle of the loan, we just found out that $2400 is still owed. Which means that only $200 principle has been paid. He claims he has paid alot of money into the pawn. I remind him that
    1-the loan was to have been paid off in a year(we are now almost 3 years into it)
    2-he was supposed to have paid off $1500 principle of the loan
    3- These are the things he agreed to

    It has become obvious that what he has been doing is going into the pawn shop and paying the minimum (around $35) right before the due date, which is every 3 months. He told me that he was going yesterday to get a payment history from the pawn shop. I told him yes you may have paid some money , but the deal was that you would pay off $1500 principle in a year not 3 years of interest only. You have only paid $200 in actual loan money, the rest has been just no to lose the pawn(interest ayments). Which by our account cant be more than $650 he has paid in the last 3 years (4 payments a year x $35 x 3 years=420 plus the 1st few payments which were around $100 each , hence the $200 dollar less owed on the loan)

    What I want your opnion on is that. he claims he only owes my wife around $900 then(based on the above figures). I say he owes her $1350. I told him deal was to reduce the loan by $1550, not to make interest only payment every 3 months. That he has only reduced the loan by $200. Of course that is a big disagreement between us. Now for my opinion is that yeah he may have put in more than $200, but that was't our deal. All those intereset payments mean nothing, he hasn't lived up to his part of the deal, which was to payy off $1550 of the loan. Also remeber this was supposed to have been paid off in a year, this december it will be 3.

    What do you guys think?

    Am I right?
    Am I just plain worng?
    Am I being a Dick?

    No offense will be taken, I am curious how others see this.
    Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you yunick jelly thou!

  • #2
    Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

    I will pay you the $1550 today if you will, in return, send me the hand striped Charvel EVH. Or the custom Hamer - I am flexible on this. lol

    You're walking down a road I have travelled far too many times. I once opened a credit line for my sister and she was to pay off the $5000 over a two year period. She gave me the same lip service you are getting. Every month she would make the minimum monthly interest payment($75) keeping the account up to date but not touching the principal. Anyway, after five years of this I gave up and paid the thing off myself. In her mind she paid $5k(which she did, mathematically) but I still owed the bank five grand. We're ok now, but we went through a tough period to get close again.
    Can you cut your losses with this guy? Will paying out the balance of this cause financial strain? If not, I would take the hit and be done with the dude. $1350 is jack shit compared to your marriage and the strain this type of situation can have on your relationship, with all the finger pointing that can happen.

    The fact that you had no contractual obligation with the guy would also help my decision to move on.

    Just my opinion, of course. [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img] Good luck.
    Tarbaby Fraser.

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    • #3
      Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

      [ QUOTE ]
      $1350 is jack shit compared to your marriage and the strain this type of situation can have on your relationship, with all the finger pointing that can happen.


      [/ QUOTE ]

      Good call Jimmy!

      How about paying off, like jimmy said, to get rid of the middle man (pawn shop) and have direct payments to you. It still may cause heartburn, but you'll know where the money is going, and no interest payments.
      Occupation: Department Director for the Department of Redundancy Department

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      • #4
        Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

        I would assume you have proof of payment for the TV,if it continues,ask him when you can pick it up....
        Bon Jovi is like a frozen Coca Cola.. It's cool, it's crunchy, but when all is said and done it is still pop....

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        • #5
          Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

          I've seen this kind of thing happen plenty of times. My philosophy has since been:

          Never loan money to friends or family. Give them the money. If they pay it back, consider it a bonus. If you can't afford to give them the money knowing yuo'll likely never see it again, don't do it.

          As for your situation, I don't know your financial situation. If you're pretty well off and it's not an issue of money, raher an issue of the friend vs. the wife; then you have to side with the wife, cut the ties with the friend and keep it in mind for the next time something like this comes up. Chalk it up to experience.

          However, if money is an issue, then I can't think of any good advice. Sorry.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

            In hindsight you put the burden of telling him no on your wife, yet the dude is your best friend. Also I don't get the whole pawnshop fiasco, why didn't she just accept monthly payments for the guy instead of pawnshops. Pawnshops are a ripoffs for loans and not a bank [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

            Tell him its $900 if he pays today, if he doesnt tell him its $1600 since he defaulted on the original deal.

            I also never lend money to family or friends, I'd rather be a dick and say no than have to go through the bullshit like this. Since they know I'm not a bank, they know not to ask. Also I agree with Travis, if you have the money and give it as a gift that is a different story.
            shawnlutz.com

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            • #7
              Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

              Thanks for the input guys. I should have made it clear that we are all friends. We used to hang out all of us(plus her brother and her cousin/my roomate way back), so it wasn't like hey buy my friend this. The reason she did it the way she did was because, she didn't want the ring at that time, but she also thought that maybe in the future she may want to do something with the stone, so that is why she was in no rush to get the ring out. at the time it was more of a I'll get this for you and you pay this for me deal.

              Luckily (knock on wood) the money owed will not hurt us. It was more of a do the right thing, we did make a deal. So we have decided to just chalk it up to experience.


              We are going to blow it off, we will all still remain friends with no hard feelings, but lesson learned.
              Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you yunick jelly thou!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                Not to come off like an asshole here and its none of my business....but since you posted about it...

                I'm going to make the assumption that anyone w/ a hand striped EVH is not in the poor house. And I realize you were leaving this one up to the wife, but in the end she's getting fucked and causing a headache for you.

                Hindsight is 20/20...if you have the cash to make your life easier, then I say use it. Would have been better to loan the guy $1500 out of your pocket than be in this whole mess now that involves the pawnshop.

                So if its the case where everyone is still friends - do what you should have donw in the first palace... send the pawnshop the cash, get the ring, and tell your buddy he owes you $1300 .

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                • #9
                  Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                  Agreed. Get the pawn shop out of the equation, and tell him to start sending you the payments.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                    Agreed +1, with one caveat.

                    You need to decide which is more important - your friendship with this guy, or your $1,500. On the one hand money cannot replace friends. On the other, would a "true" friend screw his buddy over for a fairly large sum of money like that? Either way, I would assume you should write off the money - you'll probably never see it again. Especially based on your friend's prior actions.

                    Only you know enough about whether the friendship is worth saving. Or even can be.

                    Good luck Vince.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                      First, let me point out, "friends" don't pull this shit! In my opinion, you need to re-define the term and hopefully this type of situation won't repeat itself.

                      Sorry for the grief.
                      "POOP"

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                      • #12
                        Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                        [ QUOTE ]
                        First, let me point out, "friends" don't pull this shit!

                        [/ QUOTE ]
                        +1

                        Letting this slide and remaining friends will be tough to do if this guy has any sense of decency whatsoever.
                        Obviously he's a shitty friend for even letting it get to this. I say forget about the loser.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                          never lend money to friends, and never involve third parties (pawn shop).
                          the guitar players look damaged - they've been outcasts all their lives

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                          • #14
                            Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                            I don't know how deep your friendship is with this dude, but if it were me, i'd cut my ties. that's just b.s. imo.
                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKgPY1adc0A

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Opinion wanted for money disagreement/friends

                              I'm in the same boat with my wife's friends. She owes about 1500 in back bard for her horse. My wife whines about it all the time.

                              I tell her what has been already said here. Don't ever mix money and friends unless you go into it calling it a gift.

                              Now if I can just get my wife to stop whining [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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