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  • Quitting my band

    I know Ive said I was going to do this on a couple of occasions, but the singer and his wife crossed a line this evening.

    My wife works second shift and only really gets saturday to spend any quality time with anyone. Lately the band has been booked almost every saturday from jan through march. The wife has begun to voice disappointment in the fact she never gets to see me but for like 10 hours a week, which is a very reasonable concern. I tried to tell the singer, who handles the booking and most band affairs, about the situation and requested that we keep any saturdays between now and march unbooked and after march to try to book mostly fridays from then on. I explained to him why then as usual, he side stepped my proposed solution and turned it around on us that we werent being responsible with the little time we did have and that it should be enough for her. Bottom line, I dont care if we spend 20 hours a week together, if she says its not enough, its not enough. I love her and her contentedness its whats most important. Beside that, hmm, family or a hobby that costs more than it brings in, seems like a no brainer to me.

    Anyhow, so the singers wife gets a hold of whats going on and starts going on about how my wife is unsupportive and being unreasonable and that shes the less than ideal mate, and the she(the singers wife) is just the golden standard of how a wife should be, though just last week she was running her mouth to me about how she was going to leave him(the singer) if he didnt change his mind about something that had happened early in the week. She even posted on her Facebook wall about to everyone, she didnt name names, but I know EXACTLY who had given her the idea to post what she posted. She denies that, of course, and tells me it was just meant in general and that if Im offended by it than that means it applies to us. Needless to say, I was super pissed and so is my wife.

    Im done, fuck him, fuck her. Ive been dealing with his bullshit for years now telling my self its worth the opportunity to gig, but Im done. I didnt get along with his wife anyhow, though Ive kept that pretty much to myself. Shes got that "sit down you dont know me" Jerry Springer attitude and it doesnt have an off switch. I was willing to deal with her for the most part, but she just crossed a line tonight talking shit about my wife when shes only third party to the facts. Her statements were totally unfounded and extremely rude, and then had the audacity to pretty much say "well if you dont like it, its because truth hurts." Shut the fuck up cunt and go back to the trailer park, they miss you.

    Im out. Fuck em. I wish good luck to the other 2 members of the band and to whoever replaces me, but for the singer and his wife, not so nice knowing ya. Fuck off, piss off, go to hell, kiss my ass!
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  • #2
    Twitch, you're starting to remind me of another guy who lives his entire life online.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Trussrod View Post
      Twitch, you're starting to remind me of another guy who lives his entire life online.
      Yeah, but I wont correct your spelling , beside that, there are a few people here that may have been following whats going on with twitch and the gangs regarding new exciting shows and a couple of people local that may have come to a show expecting to meet me. Figured it was a good idea to let them know what was up. Furthermore, I havent worked in 3 months, Im kind of in a lay off state, so I have mass amounts of time to kill while I stay at home with the kids. Id rather be out working and not posting all the time, but hey, what can you do. Sure I could play my guitar, but the baby hardly ever lets me do that uninterrupted.

      Also, at my current stats for posts per day, Im right in line with accruing 15,000 posts in 10 years. Not quite there.
      Last edited by Twitch; 01-19-2012, 01:32 AM.
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      • #4
        Sorry to hear about the lack of work as well as the issue with the band. It seemed like you guys had a shot at some good gigs in the near future.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Trussrod View Post
          Sorry to hear about the lack of work as well as the issue with the band. It seemed like you guys had a shot at some good gigs in the near future.
          Yeah, that sucks that Ill have to miss out on that but family first and I just dont have the patience anymore to deal with being told how I conduct my family is wrong. Oh they are just the shining example of how to use money and how to work a family. I dont deal well with judgmental, holier than though attitudes, or the trailer park sit down you dont know me crap. Dont want it, dont need it, dont have to put up with it. Such is life. And its not like Ill be the only one missing some of those gigs, as they have so soured my relationship with them, I WILL NOT be upholding my previous commitments to attend the already booked gigs and that includes the first Murat gig. If they wanna play, theyll do it without a second guitarist (and the other guitarist learn the parts I played that he never did and doesnt know how)or they better find someone quick who can learn 14 songs in a week and be able to solo real well out of his ass. It really blows it came down to this but its been a long time coming, they pushed me over the edge tonight and theyll pay for it as a band because of it. The request was so simple but because he always wants to do it his way or no way, he decided to judge me turn it around to make it appear as an unfounded request so he could continue to go about doing it his way. It wouldnt have hurt anything to oblige the request, it wouldnt have hindered any progress either. Then his wife started in and that was just too far for me.
          Last edited by Twitch; 01-19-2012, 02:47 AM.
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          • #6
            Sounds like the bitch needs a good ass fucking, at least that's what my old man would say.
            "Today, I shat a brown monolith ..majestic enough for gods to stand upon" BillZ aka horns666

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            • #7
              I feel you man. We had a guy working with us who's old lady decided to take it upon herself to make decisions for the band and he enabled her at every turn. Her attitude was very similiar to your singer's wife. We, as a band, decided that it was time and sent them packing. Unfortunately it doesn't seem that the rest of the band supported you in your situation, but anyone with any sense knows, family comes first. Most times, in my experience, the supportive family member (even if at times is dissatisfied) was there before and will continue to be there after all the BS. I stand behind your decision. Besides, it sure sounds to me like you were a dedicated member of the band and that the loss is the band's.
              In memory of Gary Wright 9/13/2012

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              • #8
                Originally posted by CowboyFromHell View Post
                We had a guy working with us who's old lady decided to take it upon herself to make decisions for the band and he enabled her at every turn.
                Which is exactly why our women aren't even allowed at our shows. In fact, they've never even seen the inside of the bus.
                "Today, I shat a brown monolith ..majestic enough for gods to stand upon" BillZ aka horns666

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Axegrinder87 View Post
                  Which is exactly why our women aren't even allowed at our shows. In fact, they've never even seen the inside of the bus.
                  Hell - women weren't even allowed at our gigs!
                  Which would actually explain a couple of things, now I that think about it....

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                  • #10
                    I have a few questions.. are you a hired gun in the band or an = member? If you are an = member then you shouldn't have to quit the band. Just tell your bandmates whats up and how its gonna be. Bailing out is the wrong approach. If you are an important member of the band then you should have an = say to whats going on. Asking for some Saturday nights off isn't life altering unless of course you are under contract or something. Regarding the drama.. thats all it is... drama. Forget about it and focus on the band and the music. Thats my .02.
                    By quiting you are taking the easy way out. Man up bro.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Snoogans View Post
                      Hell - women weren't even allowed at our gigs!
                      Which would actually explain a couple of things, now I that think about it....
                      My band has a similar rule but you need to substitute the word women with the word wives.

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                      • #12
                        Twitch, have you talked about your concerns while the whole band was there? Perhaps the rest of the band will understand and can see that it's unreasonable for the singer to book Saturdays when you ask him not to.

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                        • #13
                          Ah, jgcable replied while I was writing my reply. Anyways, I agree, don't quit or threaten to quit, confront him when everybody's there and challenge his right to make these decisions.

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                          • #14
                            just fire the singer!!!!

                            actually, i agree with jg and javert....try to work it out. if you can't, at least give them 30 days. that way you fulfill the gigs that were already scheduled and they have time to train a replacement. remember how tough it was with the drummer? (i think that was your band)
                            GEAR:

                            some guitars...WITH STRINGS!!!! most of them have those sticks like on guitar hero....AWESOME!!!!

                            some amps...they have some glowing bottle like things in them...i think my amps do that modelling thing....COOL, huh?!?!?!

                            and finally....

                            i have those little plastic "chips" used to hit the strings...WHOA!!!!

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                            • #15
                              Twitch I get it and agree with you. Fuck em. Its just a band, you can find other people to play with and if the other two guys find out whats going on, and have half a brain, they will walk too and firing the singer will happen in a round about way anyway. Besides this gesture will mean the world to your wife and family and thats whats MOST important. I say good decision!
                              "I have so much gayness at times. My wife walks in my music room, and there I am, in my undies, listening to "Sister Christian" while lighting fireworks..doin' blow." - Bill Z

                              "I leave off the back plate and pinch my forskin between the tension springs. That may not work for everyone. But I find that the people love it. Half the tone is in the pud." - Bill Z

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