15 Cringeworthy Things Little Kids Say in Public

[RacerX]

I don't have kids, but I sure got major laughs from this article!

http://thestir.cafemom.com/toddler/1...le_kids?next=1

Read all the comments for more!


You guys got lots of rugrats; let's hear your hilarious stories!

[horns666]

OK, my family was just talking about this at Vin's birthday party..

Ironically, both are somewhat innocently, very ..extremely racial. When I was 2 or 3, I believed all balck people lived downtown. Cleveland was divided at that time. Well, whites still don't live on the east side execpt a few stragglers that lived in the same home for 70 years. The West side is diverse, but getting less diverse..these are facts. I never went to school, played with, or lived around blacks. We lived in little Italy (St Rocco) I only saw them whenever my mom took me with her on the bus to downtown. I remember being out of breath running along aside her just walking. I was a just lil' Bill Z Bub..and looked ALOT like Spanky of Our Gang...adorable, pudgy, and not bashful at all. So, I remember being in a elevetaor with my mom, and a very dark, black man that seemed like a giant. I remember him looking down at me and smiling. That's when I pointed up to him and said .."Hey mom, look..a Ni&&er!!" Yes, my dad said that all the time. But that was then..this is now.

My wife brought my son to KMart. He was in the shopping cart's baby seat, when out of the blue shouted "Mom, I don't like black people". He was referring to the people in front of them in line. They all froze and responsed.."what did that little boy just say". My wife frozen, just apologized. Telling Vin how wrong that was. But he just started laughing. Where did he get that from? Not me..but I always let him watch Southpark. Cartman said that and he repeated whatever he heard on that show..everything.

When my grandma passed away 11 years ago we all met at my freind's Italian resturant. It is a very nice place and my son had to go pee. So, much too young..I always went with him to the bathroom. There were two stalls. There was a guy to the left of us taking a dump. Obviously older in age due to blue pastel pants and white loafers. Vinny dropped his pants and strated to pee. But ove shot the toilet and pissin' all over the poor dude's pants and shoes. I was like WTF..and the guy said while poopin'..."Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....Nooooooooooooooo" . Vinny then strated to belly laugh making his golden stream like a fuggin' lawn sprinkler...saoking the dude even more. I hurried Vin outta the john, and went to the table by my dad. Tears were rollin' down my face, and I couldn't breathe..I couldn't tell him. Finally, I was able to explain what just happened. That's when some old dude came out of the bathroom, and walked by our table holding his shoes and socks..walking barefoot. I'd assume who the guilty party was because we all had our faces buried in our menues..while having seizures..

I have ALOT more of these stories but they're from me, while an adult, including being a cop..my god. I'll never forget that shit.

[Sephiroth]

I try to overlook the behavoir of how kids act now. They're growing up with cell phones for text messaging instead of toys and sports, more and more of them are growing up either in poverty, single-parent homes, or a combination of both.


However, too many kids have that sloppy shitty 1970's hairstyles and it irritates the flaming fuck out of me. Every time I see it I feel the urge to say "GET YOUR ASS BACK TO THE SET OF LITTLE HOUSE ON THE FUCKING PRARIE NOW! NO MATTER WHAT SOME RETARD ON MTV OR THE DISNEY CHANNEL TOLD YOU, YOU DON'T LOOK COOL!" I can put up with a lot of different hairstyles, but that sloppy 1970's look just irritates the shit out of me.

[tonemonster]

my buddy and I talked about this one day. we are so lucky to have grown up in our generation, we did lots of fun things and learned to play guitar. kids these days have little interest in anything except playing video games and texting. eventually they will forget how to procreate as it cant be done with a smart phone and our race will fade away.

[tobrooks]

I have a few(well a lot more than a few)

I went to pick my son up from daycare one day after work(he was 4 or 5) and the lady that runs the daycare comes out and says you will not believe what your son said today, so I say do tell. We had all the kids setting around in a circle telling us what their parents do. And they are all saying stuff like my dads a fireman, policeman works at the gas station stuff like that and when we get to your son he says My dad is MF'er. So i tell her not to worry about it Ill punish him when I get him home. She says not to be to hard on him because he didnt know what he was saying. I tell her Im not going to punish him for what he said but for lying. Anyway I made sure I was not watching movies with a lot of profanity in them while he was still awake after that.

[tobrooks]

We moved from LA back to the South when Wesley was two. That next year we decide we are going to vacation in Florida(the wifes dad lives there) so we will stay a few days at Disney World then head over to Daytona and spend the rest of the week there. So we get to the hotel at Disney and our room is a few floors up with these huge glass windows facing out to the street. The father in law(who I have only meet a few times) meets us at the hotel to go out to dinner. He comes to the room and we are getting ready to leave and Wes is standing looking out the window. Gramps walks over beside him and Wes points out the window and says PawPaw see that goddamn bus?

After a few days we head over to Daytona where we have a nice room at a place that has a huge pool right on the beach. We are going to go down and hang out at the pool for awhile and the wife says for me to go ahead she is going to be a bit getting ready so I grab the cooler,towels,lotion,kids toys and Wes and head down. We get to the pool and they have these steps going in to the shallow end with the big handrail going down to the water. People are swimming and sunning on the deck. I pull the cooler over to the edge and sit Wes down on the first step(only a couple inches deep). He has his boat and toys there and is playing up a storm so I sit down on the second step and about the time I get comfortable he says he has to pee. I tell him to just pee in the pool cause I aint lugging all that crap back up to the room yet. I turn around and open the cooler to get me a beer when I heard some lady gasp. Turn around and sure enough he just stood up, dropped his trunks and is arching a stream out across the pool.

[Rsmacker]

My friend went to his child's Parents' Evening to find illustrated tales of "What I Did This Weekend" by all the class. That's fine, but his son had proudly described how he had helped Daddy do the gardening - the gardening he does indoors.
Yes, he was talking about the plants he keeps under the bed and in the loft, with all the nice bright purple lights...

[QuantumRider]

I have two nephews, 5 and 3. The older one saw a pic of my sister when she was pregnant with the younger one, and asked,
"Mommy, why is your belly so big?" to which she replied,
"Because your little brother is in there". Shocked, he asked,
"WHAT!? YOU ATE HIM!?!?"

[Scooter]

When my oldest was 4, we had him in a Christian pre-school. It was across the street from the playground, and as such everbody had to partner up and hold hands to cross the street. My sons regular partner wasn't there that day, so he was paired with the assistant teacher, to which he was a little more than resistant. After they'd explained to him he wasn't allowed to cross without holding at least someones hand, he proclaimed to the whole world that "This is a big load of fucking bullshit!" Luckily the wife picked him up that day.