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Last night, I woke up in the small hours, disturbed by a noise.
I strained my ears, and yes, there it was again.
Squeak, Squeak, etc etc.
Oh deary me, it appears the old boy next door, at the age of 78, is giving his Mrs (around the same age, but not too bad on the eye for an OOOOoooold lady) a good seeing to.
Try as I might, I couldn't blot it out, and I'm afraid I must confess that I became aroused and....well....interfered with myself, thinking of old Leatherface getting it up her cornhole.
Today, I was going to go round and congratulate him, he kept up a good old rhythm, I was impressed, he must have been piledriving her mercilessly. There was actually a point where I suspected it might not be as I thought, and perhaps it was Mrs Neighbour giving the old goat CPR to keep him alive until a kindly neighbour noticed something amiss and called an ambulance, but I managed to dispel that thought before it interfered with my self-abuse session.
However, before I popped the champers for him, I noticed the old fart had got visitors, his nubile grand-daughter and her husband, both in their mid 20s. It appears they have been there all week. I suspect it was them shagging, rather than Old Father Time and his Mrs.
Is it wrong of me to be far less excited by the thought of the young happy couple porking, than the old 'uns?
A few years ago I woke in similar circumstances, in the Summertime, and could hear the old gal gasping in tumultuous sexual ecstasy as her husband ploughed her good and hard, through the open window. It was only after I realised that the noise was rather too regular to be coming from an old lady being rogered, I found it was actually my sister's aged toothless Yorkshire Terrier, which I was looking after, wheezing away in my bedroom.
(I ignored it, and finished my spot of self-pollution anyway).
I strained my ears, and yes, there it was again.
Squeak, Squeak, etc etc.
Oh deary me, it appears the old boy next door, at the age of 78, is giving his Mrs (around the same age, but not too bad on the eye for an OOOOoooold lady) a good seeing to.
Try as I might, I couldn't blot it out, and I'm afraid I must confess that I became aroused and....well....interfered with myself, thinking of old Leatherface getting it up her cornhole.
Today, I was going to go round and congratulate him, he kept up a good old rhythm, I was impressed, he must have been piledriving her mercilessly. There was actually a point where I suspected it might not be as I thought, and perhaps it was Mrs Neighbour giving the old goat CPR to keep him alive until a kindly neighbour noticed something amiss and called an ambulance, but I managed to dispel that thought before it interfered with my self-abuse session.
However, before I popped the champers for him, I noticed the old fart had got visitors, his nubile grand-daughter and her husband, both in their mid 20s. It appears they have been there all week. I suspect it was them shagging, rather than Old Father Time and his Mrs.
Is it wrong of me to be far less excited by the thought of the young happy couple porking, than the old 'uns?
A few years ago I woke in similar circumstances, in the Summertime, and could hear the old gal gasping in tumultuous sexual ecstasy as her husband ploughed her good and hard, through the open window. It was only after I realised that the noise was rather too regular to be coming from an old lady being rogered, I found it was actually my sister's aged toothless Yorkshire Terrier, which I was looking after, wheezing away in my bedroom.
(I ignored it, and finished my spot of self-pollution anyway).
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