I loved my colonoscopy!

[Vass]

Yeah I said it. Read on you old fucks. It's gross but just stick with me.

I'm a good bit away from 50, which is the age you're supposed to start colon cancer screening. Unfortunately, I saw some blood in the bowl and lost it. Went to doc expecting to get a "don't worry about it" and did get some reassurances but also got told "we are going to check it out anyway because cancer can happen younger and this may be the only warning you get."

Well fuck.

Set up the appointment. Did the prep the day before. No eating anything except chicken broth and then 2 16 oz cups of the "prep" juice... called "suprep". Gross but manageable. Blew my guts out for 8 hours and went to bed, feeling oddly good. People do "cleanses" for fun so I guess I understand that now. Felt healthier.

Went to colonoscopy place. Nervous because while most people are just doing it for a checkup, I actually have a symptom (the blood) so I'm pretty jazzed up with anxiety. People all cool. Get an IV line, get in hospital johnny. Wait a bit then get rolled in.

Never been knocked out before so a new experience. They use propofol now instead of the heavy shit that goofed you up for a week in the old days- propofol is the shit that killed Michael Jackson. I joked a bit with the anesthesiologist about that and he said you only die if you're an idiot using it every day to sleep. Said I'll come out of it and feel basically normal very quickly. No real recovery.

Starts the line line and says "tell me when you taste it, that means it's hitting". In seconds I say, "I taste it" and start singing "Daisy, daisy, give me your answer do" hoping he's seen 2001 a Space Oddessey and will think it's funny. No idea if he did, I was fuckin out.

Had a nice dream I can't remember (buddy of mine said "nice dream huh? Was it about getting fucked in the ass?" That's what I get for sharing) and thought I was home in bed. Dude shakes me and goes, "hey we're done. Doc will be over in a minute but I can tell you we didn't find anything. You're good."

Felt great. Went back to busting balls with the staff as I got dressed. Sat down for a few with the doc who confirmed all good. Got walked out to car, wife drove me home.

That's it guys. It was all a big nothing, both in terms of health but also in terms of test. Fuckin walk in the park. People make it out to be waaaaaaaaaayyyy worse than it is. Not a big deal at all. And now I'm done for 10 years.

The point of this post? Go get your shitters checked. So not a big deal. If they find polyps, they take em out and that's that. You buy yourself 10 years protection from the #2 cancer killer in the world. Don't let apprehension about the test keep you from going. Trust me. It is nothing.

[TKEblue]

Glad it went well and the results were good. Thanks for sharing.

This is the kind of thing that people need to read. I've always assumed it was an awful ordeal, it's reassuring to hear that it's not. I'm a long way off from "needing" one, 29 today actually, but if any symptoms ever do appear I'd be more likely to get checked out after reading something like this.

[Razor]

I'm 45, and I know it's something I should have done. Thanks for your "review". It might just inspire me to do something that I need to have done.

[toejam]

Good news. I'll be 45 next month, and this is something I'm not looking forward to.

[Nightbat]

The question was never answered:

Were you dreaming of being fucked in the ass?

[Vass]

The question was never answered:

Were you dreaming of being fucked in the ass?

Lol I honestly can't remember. I don't *think* so but I can't be sure.

[artonsafari]

My family has a history with the big C. Because of this I had a sig at 35 but insurance only wanted to pay for the short stick. They found a polyp (turned out benign) and wanted me to go for the big dig just to be sure there wasn't anything hiding further up the cave. This was some 12-13yrs back and I was lightly sedated and remember the sig.

Doc, "Here's a view of yourself you don't get to see everyday. Hmmm... nice job cleaning."

The worst part was after the process when you need to expel the air (they pump air in to inflate the colon like a balloon animal to see what's what inside) and there's nurses in the room and the farts are loud and wet sounding. So when I went back for the full exam they used the old stuff and I was groggy as hell afterwards. They found nothing nefarious, and again wet farts in front of nurses who hear it all the time was more embarrassing than anything else.

Second full trip was a year or two ago. New knock out meds, less groggy after, new equipment that removes more air. In recovery nurse says, "You sir are boring. Nothing going on in there."
Me, "I'll take boring. Boring is good."

There really is nothing to it.

[shreddermon]

I had it done 3 or 4 years ago, after having some bad GI issues for a few months. Like others have said, the procedure itself was no big deal. I was so out of it, don't remember a thing except joking with the doc before the drugs hit that he at least needed to buy me dinner before going that far. LOL. Then I was lights-out. Felt perfectly fine afterwards, except for my wife telling me I was so groggy that I kept saying the same thing 5 or 6 times in a row. That wore off quickly, though.

The prep work is worse than the procedure itself. It blows. Literally. You have to clean out your system beforehand, which means no food and taking stuff to piss out your ass much of the day before.

Bottom line: If you're due or need it done, get it done. There's nothing about the procedure to worry about. And better safe than sorry. It saves lives.

[Rich#6]

Glad yours went smoothly. Mine not so much. final part of prep work fucking hurt. Too much air, woke me up in the middle in serious pain. that was close to 15-20 years ago. Now at 47 not looking forward to the next one.

[Hellbat]

I've got diverticulosis and a family history of colon cancer, so I have to have them every 5 years. I had diverticulitis a couple years ago and got a couple of bonus ones then before and after they removed some bad parts of my colon. I had an illeostomy while the colon healed up. That was no fun. I had a lot of skin problems around the pouch and ostomy site. Thankfully that got reversed and the digestive tract is mostly back to normal, but the surgeon said I'm likely to be a return customer one day. It's a good thing I'm straight, my ass is not built to take a pounding.

Glad yours was a negative!

[xenophobe]

Had one about 2 years ago for GI problems. Found a few polyps, cut them off, tested benign. All is good except for a little diverticulosis. Nothing requiring treatment other than trying to eat more natural fiberous foods.

I do have IBS-C. It sucks.